Cow politics

DEMOCRAT
————
You
have two cows.

Your neighbor has
none.

You feel guilty for being
successful.

Barbara Streisand sings
for you.

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REPUBLICAN
————–
You
have two cows.

Your neighbor has
none.

So?

SOCIALIST
————
You
have two cows.

The government takes
one and gives it to your
neighbor.

You form a cooperative to
tell him how to manage his
cow.

COMMUNIST
————–
You
have two cows.

The government seizes
both and provides you with milk.

You
wait in line for hours to get it.

It
is expensive and
sour.

CAPITALISM,
AMERICAN
STYLE

———————————-
You
have two cows.

You sell one, buy a
bull, and build a herd of
cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN
STYLE

———————————-
You
have two cows.

The government taxes
you to the point you have to sell both to support
a

man in a foreign country who has
only one cow, which was a gift from
your

government.

BUREAUCRACY,
AMERICAN
STYLE

————————————-
You
have two cows.

Under the new farm
program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the
milk down the
drain.

AMERICAN
CORPORATION

—————————–
You
have two cows.

You sell one, lease it
back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd
one.

You force the two cows to
produce the milk of four cows. You
are

surprised when one cow drops
dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and
are reducing expenses.

Your stock
goes up.

FRENCH
CORPORATION

————————–
You
have two cows.

You go on strike
because you want three cows.

You go
to lunch and drink wine.

Life is
good.

JAPANESE
CORPORATION

—————————-
You
have two cows.

You redesign them so
they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and

produce twenty times the
milk.

They learn to travel on
unbelievably crowded trains.

Most are
at the top of their class at cow
school.

GERMAN
CORPORATION

—————————-
You
have two cows.

You engineer them so
they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give

excellent quality milk, and run
a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation
per year.

ITALIAN
CORPORATION

—————————
You
have two cows but you don’t know where they
are.

While ambling around, you see a
beautiful woman.

You break for
lunch.

Life is
good.

RUSSIAN
CORPORATION

—————————-
You
have two cows.

You have some
vodka.

You count them and learn you
have five cows.

You have some more
vodka.

You count them again and learn
you have 42 cows.

The Mafia shows up
and takes over however many cows you really
have.

TALIBAN
CORPORATION

—————————
You
have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are
two.

You don’t milk them because you
cannot touch any creature’s
private

parts. Then you kill them and
claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the
hospital.

IRAQIAN
CORPORATION

—————————
You
have two cows.

They go into
hiding.

They send radio tapes of
their mooing.

POLISH
CORPORATION

————————–
You
have two bulls.

Employees are
regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk
them.

FLORIDA
CORPORATION

—————————-
You
have a black cow and a brown
cow.

Everyone votes for the best
looking one.

Some of the people who
like the brown one best, vote for the black
one.

Some people vote for
both.

Some people vote for
neither.

Some people can’t figure out
how to vote at all.

Finally, a bunch
of guys from out-of-state tell you which is
the

best-looking
cow.

CALIFORNIA
CORPORATION

——————————-
You
have millions of cows

Most are
illegals

Arnold likes the ones with
the big tits.

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