fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual
leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter
who’s lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue
a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the
police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”
An Illinois man, pretending to
have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different
automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money
from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a
Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money! in the cash drawer.
Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the
counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a
robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When
detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, “Give me all your
money or I’ll shoot, the man shouted, “That’s not what I said!”
ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone, “My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first
child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven
Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without
a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately,
he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high
desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their
brand new 22 ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter
how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they
putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was
wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was
the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to
check underneath, he came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER …THIS IS TRUE…. Under the boat, still strapped securely
in place, was the trailer.