You might be a Floridian, if …

You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first
names of Charley, Frances or Ivan

Your freezer never has more than
$20 worth of food in it at any given time

You’re looking at paint
swatches for the plywood on your windows, to accent the house color

You think of your hall closet / safe-room as “cozy”

Your pool
is more accurately described as “framed in” than “screened in”

freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it

You no longer
worry about relatives visiting during the summer months

You too
haven’t heard back from the insurance adjuster

You now understand
what that little “2% hurricane deductible” phrase really means

You’re putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from
your neighborhood

You were once proud of your 16″ electric chain

Your Street has more than 3 “NO WAKE” signs posted

You now own 5 large ice chests

Your parrot can now say”
hammered, pounded and hunker down”

You recognize people in line at
the free ice, gas and plywood locations

You stop what you’re doing
and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your

You’re depressed when they don’t stop

You have
the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood, roofing supplies
and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer

You’ve spent more
than $20 on “Tall white kitchen bags” to make your own sand bags

You’re considering upgrading your 16″ to a 20″ chainsaw

know what “Bar chain oil” is

You’re thinking of getting your wife
the hardhat with the ear protector and face shield for Christmas

now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable

You look
forward to discussions about the merits of “cubed, block and dry ice”

Your therapist refers to your condition as “generator envy”

You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade
around in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your
neighbor across the street, with the noisy generator doesn’t get electric

And finally, you might be a Floridian if

You ask your sister
up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate classifieds!

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